Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life by Roald Dahl
Author:Roald Dahl [Dahl, Roald]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780141941615
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2011-09-14T16:00:00+00:00
fishermen won’t have nothing but lug worms. And of course there’s coloured maggots. Ordinary maggots are white, but you get them all sorts of different colours by feeding them special foods, see. Red ones and green ones and black ones and you can even get blue ones if you know what to feed them. The most difficult thing of all in a maggot-factory is a blue maggot, Mr Hoddy.’
Claud stopped to catch his breath. He was having a vision now – the same vision that accompanied all his dreams of wealth – of an immense factory building with tall chimneys and hundreds of happy workers streaming in through the wide wrought-iron gates and Claud himself sitting in his luxurious office directing operations with a calm and splendid assurance.
‘There’s people with brains studying these things this very minute,’ he went on. ‘So you got to jump in quick unless you want to get left out in the cold. That’s the secret of big business, jumping in quick before all the others, Mr Hoddy.’
Clarice, Ada, and the father sat absolutely still looking straight ahead. None of them moved or spoke. Only Claud rushed on.
‘Just so long as you make sure your maggots is alive when you post ’em. They’ve got to be wiggling, see. Maggots is no good unless they’re wiggling. And when we really get going when we’ve built up a little capital, then we’ll put up some glasshouses.’
Another pause, and Claud stroked his chin. ‘Now I expect you’re all wondering why a person should want glasshouses in a maggot-factory. Well – I’ll tell you. It’s for the flies in the winter, see. Most important to take care of your flies in the winter.’
‘I think that’s enough, thank you, Cubbage,’ Mr Hoddy said suddenly.
Claud looked up and for the first time he saw the expression on the man’s face. It stopped him cold.
‘I don’t want to hear any more about it,’ Mr Hoddy said.
‘All I’m trying to do, Mr Hoddy,’ Claud cried, ‘is give your little girl everything she can possibly desire. That’s all I’m thinking of night and day, Mr Hoddy.’
‘Then all I hope is you’ll be able to do it without the help of maggots.’
‘Dad!’ Clarice cried, alarmed. ‘I simply won’t have you talking to Claud like that.’
‘I’ll talk to him how I wish, thank you, miss.’
‘I think it’s time I was getting along,’ Claud said. ‘Good night.’
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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